Tuesday, 9 September 2008

Brian's Personal Story - and computer programming bugs

Whilst I was editing and loading more content for the new website today, I worked on Brian's Personal Story, which moved me greatly.

It's been fun and games today. As we work on the website, we find little bugs, which is exactly what you would expect with a newly programmed system. Fortunately, I spent a good deal of time computer programming when I ran my neuroscience lab, so I can understand that such glitches can occur. And we always accepted that there were 2% of glitches that were unexplainable. Actually, they were explainable, the god of computer programmes likes to have a laugh! And makes them illogical and unsolvable - or you have to do something outrageously counter-intuitive.
We've had a few glitches today. Why does a file truncate when we have more than one capital letter? And why does text suddenly turn red, unexplainably? It's all part of the rich tapestry of setting up a new content management system.  
Now back to that Personal Story. Brian is one of the new volunteers in the Cardiff Recovery community. He's a real dynamo! Please read his story and let us know what you think.


Confusion said...

Brain, whow, from my heart you have so much strength to share so much from your passed, all I can read is pain, rejection and the loss of your own world taken away from you as a child. i am in a very similar situation from day 1 of being born, have learnt so much how devasting abuse, sexual, physical ,mental or emotional towards a child of any nature and the unstability of love and a loving envoirement in a secure home does so much damage, my own journey surving in this world was to feed my feelings with mind alterating drugs, try and have the perfect family, failed! and in every area my underlying damage of child hood failed me having any stability in life as a whole. I put my hat of to you to share as you have, well done Brain, as sexual abuse as a boy is in many ways a taboo in the real world to many out siders, you sound a real fighter and whether 1 month or 8 months clean! well done. I believe i read something of yours in the past and it spurred my own journey onwards, i have securred funding to deal with my sexual abuse as a child, to try and lay to rest the past,live with peace in my life and find love in my heart. Its the likes of you spreading the word that help so many out there in similar situations. i look forward to seeing a 1 infront of your 8 months clean. best wishes.

Anonymous said...


The story of your recovery is miraculous in more ways than one, so I’m not even going to pretend to understand how you’ve managed it, although I have no doubt that your faith, together with your inner strength, and the help of those wonderful, non judgmental people from the Salvation Army, have all played their part.

On the other hand given your experience of the other services you mentioned and their judgmental nature, that you found the resources to continue to seek for a way out, defies understanding. I salute you. I have always been baffled as to why it is those who lack any true Christian values, feel the need to invoke the name of God to justify their actions.

Brian, you have shown the world that there is no such thing as a ‘hopeless case’, that regardless of the suffering most addicts experience, recovery is possible for those who seek it and are willing to accept it, together with the personal responsibility to make it their priority. Despite, or because of the devastating losses and abuse you have experienced that is precisely what you are doing, and it may be all of those experiences with their bitter rejection that made you even more determined, but since I have no way of knowing that, or the depth of your mental, physical and spiritual suffering, it is presumptuous of me to suggest it.

I wish you well and have no doubt that in the fullness of time you will prove to be a pillar of strength to those who are still searching.

Thank you for telling your story.

Anonymous said...

Amazing story and very emotional read, thank you for sharing this and hope others can learn from this as well.


David Clark said...

I received an e-mail from Annie who agreed that I should it up as a comment:
'Brian’s story is indeed tragic, sad, should never have happened……. but unfortunately far too common. Whilst also being one to celebrate, in that he is now celebrating 8 months clean from heroin, drink and pot (Brian’s words). I totally agree with him, and indeed he should see himself as a great success!
I also note his comments regarding dedicated staff and was greatly saddened, and enraged by his treatment, and in some cases serious abuse, by people who should have cared, are paid to care and give a professional service, again, I feel that it is a shame that this too, can be far too common!
I consider myself lucky to working in the organisation that I now do, and salute all colleagues such as those at the Bridge Project, who consistently care, offer consistent care, understand, forgive and move forward, indeed it is an ethos that should be adopted by all staff working in the health and social care field!
Regards and thanks for your blogs, I find them enlightening, interesting and very informative. Keep up the good work!